Woman finds closure with kin of first love after his death, his family unaware of marriage and divorce

Submitted by Stomper JC

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She finally found the closure she sought, thanks to Stomp.

Stomper JC had reached out to Stomp in August with an appeal to help her find anyone who knew a man she called her first love.

His name was Meng. They had met in Singapore in 1975 and married in the US several years later.

The divorce was finalised in 1981. They last spoke to each other on the phone in 1983.

JC remarried and moved to the US.

Then a visit to Singapore in November 2022 triggered fond memories of her first love and she decided to find him, but a Google search revealed Meng had died.

"My heart was broken," said the Stomper, who turned 70 in April.

She told Stomp: "I'm trying to reach out to his next of kin, family members, friends, colleagues or acquaintances for closure."

Stomp published her appeal on Sept 6.

Some readers were moved by her story while others urged JC to "move on".

One reader wrote to Stomp: "I hope the woman retains some respect for herself and the family of the deceased. Let the deceased rest in peace too. What does she want? A share of his estate?"

People who knew Meng in school and national service also contacted Stomp to reach out to JC.

So did someone who said she was his niece.

The Stomper got in touch with the niece via WhatsApp and arranged a meeting at the end of the year.

JC and her husband returned to Singapore and met with Meng’s extended family this month.

She told Stomp: "I learned that Meng did not get married nor have a family of his own but had been in a long-term relationship.

"Family members said he was a very private person who did not share much about his personal life. However, he appeared to have led a happy and contented life although some friends did sense a certain darkness in him that he did not care to reveal. He was frugal with himself but extremely generous to those around him.

"I was the missing piece in the puzzle the family encountered when they went through his belongings after his death and came across a divorce document. Until then, no one in the family was aware of a US marriage and divorce in his life.

"I found the much-needed closure. The family found the answers to their questions including the cause of a deep depression during one period of his life.

"I also learned about a set of could-have-been in-laws. The family found an in-person connection to a nephew, a brother, a cousin, an uncle, and a grand-uncle who left them suddenly on Sept 17, 2006."

The Stomper also addressed those who doubted her intentions: "To the trolls, there was no ambition to claim an estate or fortune, nor an inheritance to which I had no right to begin with. Just a broken heart that longed to understand the circumstances behind Meng’s untimely demise."

She added: "To the well wishers, a heartfelt gratitude for your messages, nostalgic photos, and kind words.

"And to Stomp, I can’t thank you enough for making the connection happen.

"Meng, enjoy eternity with our heavenly father free from the cares of this world. We shall meet on that celestial shore when the roll is called up yonder."