STOMP it anytime, anywhere.
Download the new STOMP app today.
Stomper Anonymous does not agree that it is all right for a spouse to go out alone with members of the opposite sex, but with one exception.
This is his entry for September's What Say You topic, 'Is it okay for your spouse to go out alone with a member of the opposite sex?'
In my humble opinion, I do not agree that it is okay for your spouse to go out alone with the members of the opposite sex, but with the only exception being that your spouse has known the member of the opposite sex for donkey years before getting married. Please allow me to share with you my points of argument.
1) Why is there a need for my spouse to go out with a member of the opposite sex furthermore a hunky, macho single man?
All things considered, it takes both hands to clap. The first thing I need to ask myself is, why did my spouse agree to go out with the guy alone, knowing that she can always decline and prevent any misunderstandings? Is there something going on that my spouse isn't telling me?
On the other hand like what you said, why couldn't the guy just find anyone else to go out with? Moreover asking my spouse out knowing the fact that she is married.
Being a man myself, we do not waste time doing something for the sake of doing. We do it because we know what we want.
So now you are going to ask me, what is it that every guy wants? The only thing that is going through in every guy's mind is getting into the lady's pants. Hard truth and fact or do you think he just wanna be friends? Oh c'mon... The guy is attractive and he probably knows that he can get any female he wants.
Afterall we are all humans, we are all creatures of emotions, we are all susceptible to temptations, we crave for thrills, we are not perfect. Precisely because we are not perfect, we should always prevent something regrettable from happening before it is too late. This brings me to my second point.
2) Why are female Arabs covered from head to toe?
"The main principle reason for the hijab is modesty, which is not wishing to receive unnecessary attention from people, such as admiration and flattery, envy, or, most importantly, sexual attraction from those other than her husband."
Great care is taken to keep sexual thoughts, feelings and interactions to within the boundaries of the marital relationship.
These types of attention may boost the 'ego' for the short term, but all have the potential to lead to disastrous consequences in the long term, for example leading to confused feelings, competition, suspicions, affairs, break-up of marriages and other relationships, disturbed children, and ultimately a community where people are insecure, unhappy, and divided amongst themselves.
This is exactly what Arabs are trying to prevent when they require their spouse to be fully covered up. It might be a very conservative tradition in the 21st century but more importantly it served it's purpose.
Since my spouse is not a Muslim and I cannot request her to dress up like an Arab, the only thing I can do is to "educate" my spouse to draw a line with any guys who might be emotionally or sexually attracted to her.
In conclusion, it doesn't matter if my spouse only treats the guy as a colleague or a friend at the start, there is still a chance for feelings or sexual desires to develop when more opportunities created.
Find out how you can share your thoughts on the topic here.
Read other responses about the topic here.