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Stomper Anonymous feels that whether men are expected to pay depends largely on their age group and financial stability.
This is his entry for this month's What Say You topic, 'In this day and age, are men still expected to pay for everything in a relationship?'
Firstly, that entire depends on which age group we are referring to. For example, for guys which are aged 18 to 21 whom are currently still studying for serving their national service, it seems to me that it makes perfect sense to go dutch with his partner even on dates as he is not working full time yet. This can serve as a starting point for couples just starting out as it firms up the start of the relationship where we as guys do not promise our partners or rather don't give our partner's the wrong image that we want to pay for everything even when we are not financially stable yet.
Guys whom are 21 - 25 I would presume that they are either in University or just started out climbing the corporate ladder, figuring out which field of interest is best for your career path. Therefore, stability wise may not be financially stable as well. This age group of men may on certain occasions spend a little of their partners and start to have some sort of financial planning for their future if they were to take their relationship further to the next level. ( Not forgetting the ladies would have a headstart in their careers and might have some savings on their own, which in today's context may be the other way around where women may spend on their boyfriends too.
Guys 26 and above, I would presume that you may have settled in for a career path and maintained a steady income for at least 6 months now, so giving your partner a sense of security and showing her that you can manage your own finances is essential if planning for marriage in a few years time. Probably both of you can come to an agreement on how much to spend on entertainment etc per month ? This way, you would not be overspending just to please your own egos and still working to save for a better life in future.|
After marriage - This is the part I strongly believe that a man should be responsible in any way for his family. Be it child's education etc it comes as a package and a man should be responsible for what comes next in this chapter of life. Your girlfriend who has now lawfully became your lifetime partner has dedicated her life to you and you dedicated your life to hers... she is even willing to go through 9 months of pain and hours of labour pain for you and your family. The least you can do is to not let her worry about daily needs and to pamper her as and when time or money allows. If your wife is working as well, her salary would be her own savings and for family emergency uses and as a husband depending on your earning power, it would be sufficient to lets say cater 20-30% of your take home salary for your wife's allowance ? This is what I believe what a man should do in different stages of his life and relationship.
Lastly, on the whole picture I would say that it is absolutely normal in today's context that women enjoy men paying for them as they would feel pampered in a way or two. But wouldn't at all mind paying for their other half as well. There is not hard and fast rule of men having to pay for everything, its all a mindset which I can see has changed a lot. Women nowadays having higher earning power and spending power compared to previously years. I would say that it is absolutely alright for a woman to pay for their guy every now and then but not always. And if a guy insists that he has to pay for everything, then this guy is either lacking of self-confidence in the relationship or having a wrong mindset. Either ways, a balance has to be struck.
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