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This post was brought to you by LunchClick.
Here’s a checklist.
Have you been texting someone of the opposite sex (if you’re heterosexual!) more frequently than you’ve been texting your partner?
Have you been confiding in this “friend” more than you have in your partner?
Do you sometimes complain to your “friend” about your partner and your relationship?
Do you hide your many texts and messages with your “friend” than your partner?
If you’ve answered yes to any one of the above, you might be having an emotional affair.
Wikipedia defines an emotional affair as an affair between two people that mimics the closeness and emotional intimacy of an affair while never being physically consummated.
It’s often characterized by excessive and/or inappropriate emotional intimacy, deception and secrecy, and discounting of their primary partner.
The tricky thing about emotional cheating, or having an emotional affair, is that people often don’t realise that it can be equally or even MORE damaging than a physical affair.
If you meet a friend of a friend whilst you were out for dinner, and then start texting each other after that, it’s easy to brush it off as being harmless.
Sure, your texts might be slightly flirtatious in tone, but it’s not like it means anything, and it’s not like you’re actually planning to cheat on your current partner, right? So you continue.
Soon, your interactions involve good morning/good night texts, selfies that you send each other, conversations that run deep into the night, and you never fail to feel that frission of excitement when your phone lights up and it’s his name on the screen.
You meet up for drinks, and you find yourself noticing how good he looks with his new haircut. He escorts you to the bar with his hand on the small of your back, and insists on buying the first round. When he says something funny, you laugh and lightly slap his arm.
At the end of the night, you return home alone, feeling exhilarated from a great night out, and just the slightest bit guilty.
You tell yourself you did nothing wrong, but over the next few weeks and months, you find yourself getting increasingly irritable at your partner, and confiding in your new friend more and more. Your texts are getting excessive, and you would rather talk to him, and share secrets with him, than you would with your current partner.
Now are you cheating?
Dating app LunchClick surveyed 217 of its users in Singapore on emotional cheating and having an emotional affair, and below are some of the results.