There is no magic formula to prevent your spouse from straying

Submitted by Stomper Jen

Stomper Jen feels that there is no magic formula to prevent someone from straying -- whether he goes out with a member of the opposite sex or not.

This is her entry for September's What Say You topic, 'Is it okay for your spouse to go out alone with a member of the opposite sex?'

Divorces are on the rise due to an affluence and a better educated society who are less tolerant of a strayed spouse.

Unfortunately there is no magic formula to prevent your spouse from straying. If  your spouse has a propensity for cheating, he/she will find ways and means to cheat. He will stop only if he wants to do so.

One woman actually got his lover to buy identical furniture, household wares exactly like his wife chose.  

The wife is a hardworking Christian who worked on shifts in a hospital, and had prayed for months when she found a condom on her bedroom windowsill.

She was shocked because she was ligated just last year and no need for it.  At every opportunity in family gatherings, wife noticed this woman always sticking to her husband and touching him.  Some one actually told her to be careful of this woman.

No, wife did not divorce him, gave him a chance because children at that time are only 5 and 3 years old. She did not want children to grow up delinquents.

The husband tried to paint the wife in a bad light of being in delusion when she consulted a lady psychiatrist who believed the husband.

The wife went to her senior pastor who counselled her and praised her for being sharp, bright and that she was not overeacting. He gave her a listening ear and suggestions. Other sources of the wife support came from her friends and colleages in the form of prayers for months.

God love this long-suffering child so much that He even sent strangers to uplift her.

Although you walk through the valley of death, I am always with you" This verse from the bible is ingrained in her. It is God telling His children that they have nothing to be afraid  and no body  can touch His children  for  He is always protecting them.

She continued her anti-depressant for 1 year, after which she stopped. It has been 30 years gone,  she leads a happy, fullfiling life and she globe-trotted  more than half of the globe.

She is very blessed and in turn when her husband mistress recently said she wanted to die, she actually bless her. She learnt to forgive and bless people as what God require of her to live a life worthy of His name.

It is better to bless  others even your enemy for you will be bless as well.

Honour and integrity, these attributes are most prized.

Likewise, respect  and trust.  If you destroy any of these, you are essentially in a tormented of mind. People in their right  minds will not risk destroying  their  marriages.  To begin, they  are deeply in love to want to get married.

It is better to be upfront  towards one's partner. Introduce your other half to this opposite gender.  Good communication is the cornerstone of a good marriage and a form of of respect for your spouse.

It will help allay her/ his fear and or anxiety.

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